10-line Poem Challenge #27: Ovillejo Poetry
#10LPC – If you would like to take part in this challenge please use the above link
Sunflower Blooming
Are flowers blooming for busy bees?
I asked with ease
Who are they growing for please tell?
there is no smell
Can I pick one for duty tour?
For sure, for sure.
Yellow flowers rich manure
their smiling faces enjoy sun
weeding is done by a loved one
I asked with ease, there is no smell, for sure, for sure.
According to Linda, the author of this 10 lined Poem Challenge, the name Ovillejo comes from the word skein and refers to a tightly wound ball of yarn. This is a poem of 10 lines that roll out in measured segments, then goes back and picks up the short threads for the final unraveling.
The 10 lines are organized into two stanzas. The first stanza of six lines is in the form of three rhyming couplets. The first line of each couplet asks a question in 8 syllables (iambic tetrameter, to be precise), and the second line gives a four-syllable answer (iambic diameter). For the record, this is where Cervantes deviated from the rule. His answers had sometimes 3, and other times only 2 syllables, but never 4.
The second stanza is a quatrain of four lines that summarizes or amplifies, the first stanza, with line 10 repeating the three short lines from the first stanza (lines 2,4,6).
Ovillejo is:
- A decastich (10-line poem) written in two stanzas, a sestet, and a quatrain.
- Syllabic Structure: 8-4-8-4-8-4 8-8-8-12
- Rhythm = trochaic throughout (I personally don’t always hold to this rule.)
- Meter = tetrameter (lines 1,3,5,7,8,9); dimeter (lines 2,4,6); line 10 = lines 2,4,6 combined
- Rhyme scheme = aabbcc cddc
Maybe they are growing just to make you smile and for bees and butterflies to feed.
Maybe they are just beauty copying the sun?
Miriam
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Lovely poem! And what an interesting challenge 🙂
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I wrote it late last night, this morning I realized I had made a mistake writing the last line, I have corrected it, but it does not sound right now, never mind may try writing another one, it is now an easy poetry form to write. Thanks for the comment. Happy days writing.
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This put a smile on my face, Elsie! It never occurred to me before that sunflowers have no scent, but you’re right. As for your form, it is perfect! I love your rhymes! I saw in your other comment that you changed the last line and don’t like it as much now. I think it sounds fine, but I don’t know what you had before. Even some of the masters added a word or two, or slightly changed the construction of the last line. In other words, they don’t always repeat word-for-word the text from lines 2, 4, and 6, and you don’t have to either, just so long as the thought of each of those lines is there.
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Thanks for the nice comment, and the help in understanding that form of poetry. Challenge 28, Sonnetina Cinque, is getting me a bit lost, I’m working on it. Hope your weekend is peaceful.
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If it helps, for the Sonnetina Cinque, just pick your favorite 5-line form and write two of them, with one answering the other. Write cinquain, or tanka, if you like those. The nice thing is you don’t have to think about rhyme or rhythm. 🙂
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Thanks, I have written one, Tanka form, my favorite poetry. After settling down with no disturbing noise in the house, I had no problems, must try another one soon using another form of poetry.
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I write my best poems in the stillness of night, after everyone else goes to sleep—if I can stay awake long enough. 😀
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Linda, these were the words that I removed, “gardening welcoming the beehive entrepreneurs”.
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Ah, I see. That is a good line, but it doesn’t fulfill the form requirement. I do like your final version better, simply because I love how the Ovillejo ties things together at the end.
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Thanks, may try another one now I understand it. I appreciate your help. Cheers.
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